::fragments::

Two nights ago: someone was doing a mathematics equation on a chalkboard. I was one of the students in class, and we were watching the teacher write out the equations and calling out answers, but also talking about our lives. I remember saying something about my life and not following the equation to its conclusion.

Later, I was in Joshua Tree and it was Friday evening before my wedding and my mother still hadn't arrived. I was getting worried--she didn't seem to respond to her cell phone and I had no idea what to do.

Last night: I was overlooking a place that I was told was Magic Mountain. I walked around with an older man who at one point put his tongue in my mouth and it was gross--it felt like a little sliver of leather poking around my mouth. Still, I let him hold me as we walked around the park in the dust. I remember being in a large public bathroom at one point, and cleaning up the toilet seat and flushing for the person before me.

Two nights ago: I was holding hands with a giant of a man, who seemed to be about seven feet tall. When I looked up at him I had to throw my entire head back and bend my neck. I was actually stroking his penis, which was unbelievably huge, and I asked, "What must it be like to take all of this in?" and he said, "Anything smaller is just a sort of hello." I was completely flabbergasted.

Last night: I was with Donna H. and she was asking me how she could help with my wedding, and I was so honored. Later, I was walking along Venice Beach-that-is-not-Venice Beach--a place I've been many times that appears to want to be the actual place and has storefronts and such, but is not.

Last several nights, up to a week or more: I was an Israeli spy; I was getting married to Pat, who was wearing a very fancy black dress that he could rip off to reveal pants and shirt; I was being married with drug deals going on outside the reception; no one knew when the wedding ceremony was to begin and Stephen and I had to see each other before we were supposed to; and many more anxiety-inducing moments related to the wedding.

We got a new cat, and he was big, black and agile. I could tell Lupita was a little scared of him as he bounded around the house. With some surprise I saw Cali, who was excited by the big new cat, and she was showing it by playing with a little toy quite animatedly.