::fragments::

In the last week:

I watched Cali give birth to kittens, nine of them.

I approached my car and saw that all the tires were flat.

I was hiking in the most beautiful golden place and saw a waterfall. I was enchanted by it.

Last night I saw Pat. We were in the Olympia that is not Olympia.

Later, a group of us were at a thrift store counter by a park I have seen before. I was waiting for someone to finish talking so that I could ask the clerk where to park--there were signs all around the building warning against parking, and a school with even more limited parking. As I waited, a group of people of various ages, but wearing mostly dirty, scraggly clothing came in and threatened the clerk and everyone in the thrift store. When they turned, a group of us in the store made a run for it. I found myself leading. I led them to the park that looked so familiar. I knew something would have to change fast in the situation because the park was small and surrounded by a brick wall.

When the group of us made it to the park, I noticed the people around me. I saw a couple of small, blonde children, some women older than me, and a few young men. The threatening group found us. I wanted nothing more than to stop and figure out how I knew this park...there were plastic displays that looked like UFOs, and I believe the park was dedicated to UFOs. The leader of the threatening group made us stand in a line with our backs against the wall. A woman from that group told us they were looking for a message. I pulled down my jacket to unveil the tattoo on my arm and said boldly, "This is a message." I could tell they were impressed. I told them it was Latin but I did not reveal the translation. I knew that leading them in this direction--by making them think we were a key to something, and therefore could not harm us--would work.

I was over 12 weeks pregnant. I had become pregnant via saliva or some other liquid, and I was shocked at how easy it happened. Once the news sunk in, I noticed that I was showing--my belly was protruding and I looked at in the mirror and my heart sunk. I suddenly realized how much I did not want to be pregnant, and I kept counting the months until when it would be due. When I thought of the pain involved, I felt incredibly depressed and it struck me just how not ready I was for this kind of change, and this kind of pain.

I was running. I was running from place to place and running, often, in circles. It was the day of someone's wedding and the people in the wedding had to all dye their hair the most shocking fluorescent green. We were at a wooded resort. I saw Melanie, Andrea, and John. Melanie told me she was too relaxed from tanning to go running. I got Andrea and John to accompany me, and Andrea swooped ahead of me like it was a race.

I was in a large house at one point and was running the perimeter of the rooms.

It felt good to be running for so long, though going in circles was a little dull. I was pleased to feel so light on my feet. I left the clothes I would change into in a room where they were taking photos before the wedding. As I ran in the wooded area, I realized it was way past the time I was to have taken my bag out of the room. I just kept running.

I was invited to T.'s wedding. I was shocked at being invited. I asked Stephen, Sarah and someone else to accompany me, figuring it would be okay to bring so many other guests with me. I brought fruit as an offering.

When we got there, I could see they were not going to start on time and everyone involved with the wedding was still running around getting things situated. I watched T. from afar. When she got up close, she was actually Sara F. from elementary school. She was wearing a short white silky dress. We both kind of sighed and then moved together to embrace. We held each other for a long time and I felt relief, sadness, resignation and a loss of grief. My friends stood by waiting for me and she and I hugged for several minutes. We let go and she had to run off to take care of her wedding.

I was in a room with a partition that would be used for the reception. The room was quite small and looked full already with about 7 people in it. One man was eating from a bowl and the bowl was decorated with multiple carvings of bulls. I was intrigued. There was also a plate of bright blue and green rosebuds, no stems, and I understood they were completely made of sugar.