::fragments::

Paul and I were married. We lived in a huge house connected to a hotel. The place reminded me of Vancouver BC. I had several friends, young women, who barely spoke English. They spoke to me with a lot of sign language and I somehow understood their language (Chinese) when they would use slang.

I wandered around this huge house, looking into bathrooms, picking up little magazines I found, and noticing sleeping boy bodies strewn around as though after a party. At one point I'd wandered over to the hotel side and walked through it--very dark colored furnishings and carpet--and lots of elderly people sitting, as though waiting.

Why did I know I was married to Paul? There was a facet of this dream about this particularly, and yet I can't bring it to the surface now...

1.
I was treading water effortlessly in the middle of the ocean with a few others, Melanie included. We were watching a movie about Geoff. Someone had made a film about Geoff's life, and it starred the guy who plays Frances from "Malcolm in the Middle." I was completely entranced by it--and especially confused and disturbed by the ending. It ended with a scene of Geoff being raped by Darth Vader and then both of them killing each other with laser guns. I tried to understand what the symbolism might be. The movie ended and I looked around me and realized we were in the middle of the ocean and felt scared for a moment. As soon as we began to swim, we were gliding, gliding so fast that we reached the shore within seconds, talking about the film the whole time. Melanie also told me she was hoping to go to graduate school in Las Vegas.

2.
I went to visit Paul in Venice. I walked through the sideyard and there were loads of belongings strung out all over the place. His guesthouse looked like a wall had been torn out and there was a sheet over one side. Paul came out from behind the sheet and in that instant I realized that I hadn't called, it was early in the morning, and he had someone there. I saw the sheet move, rustling coming from behind it. I hurriedly apologized and he assured me to come back later, it was just a little too early. I knew I wouldn't come back--I was too embarassed--and I was sad because I knew it would be the last time I'd see him in Venice.

Pat had sent me a letter telling me he wanted to be intimate with me again. I was in Olympia and left him a message saying yes, tonight. But when he called me back he said that he and Lisa were preparing to go camping. He did not invite me. I was completely distraught that I was in Olympia and Pat was not making an effort to see me. I had begun to think I was falling in love with him again.

Last night I was in a sewing class. I sat a desk among thirty other desks with students I did not know. They all had a green cloth binder. I understood I was new and the teacher would be giving me my own green cloth binder with sewing supplies inside. I did not know how to start or what I would make. I glanced at other desks and saw little satin pillows that someone had made. I waited patiently for my cloth binder.

I was hiking on a very steep incline in the snow.

It was sunny, clear and perfectly warm. I was at a low-budget resort by the ocean and Kathy was getting married to a woman who looked like a younger Gertrude Stein. The woman never spoke. Kathy told me Anya was due to arrive at 8am the morning of the wedding. The wedding would take place at 5pm. I thought 5pm seemed kind of silly, but it meant that I could spend all if not most of the day in the water. By 8:30am Anya still hadn't arrived and I used the excuse of going to find her to get down to the water. We were situated up high on some cliff, or dune. Though the wedding was the most important event of the day, and I wanted to be present for Kathy, I felt the most incredible urge to abandon it all to go be in the ocean.