anti:freeze

Back when I was still a kid, Bill Clinton was the Comeback Kid. I was seventeen, a senior in highschool, and only a few months short of my eighteenth birthday.

After twelve years of Republican presidents, the very sound of Clinton's voice made me giddy with hope. I believed he was the real deal - the man who could help turn things around for families like mine. People without adequate health insurance. People forced to decide between groceries and medications. With kids and grandkids who were the first in their families to pursue college. And all those who struggled even more.

When the results of the November 1992 election came in, I screamed and cheered and jumped around the living room. I hugged my mother and called my friends. (And immature as I was, I also gloated. Scott Patten, I am forever sorry for the way I laughed into the telephone.) It was a feeling I will never forget.

But I will also never forget the bitter disappointments and heartbreaks under Clinton. I will never forget his failed healthcare reforms, the dismantling of the welfare safety net, NAFTA, and the list goes on. When I eventually landed a job as a newspapter columnist, I criticized Clinton week after week. At some point, I realized: despite an entire childhood of union pickets, Democratic fundraisers & get-out-the-vote efforts, and Carter/Mondale/Dukakis campaigns, I was no longer a Democrat. A liberal, yes. But not a donkey. Immediately following the 2000 election, I changed my voter registration from Democrat to Independent. After all, I had always voted without allegiance to party; my ballots were punched for Republicans, Independents, and Democrats alike. Whoever had the best record for working people earned my vote. (And in one case, I voted for a moderate Republican simply because he refused corporate and PAC contributions.)

This week, I have been sick with grief over the outcome of Oregon state ballot measures (especially Measure 36) and the presidential election. But friends, we have been handed an extraordinary gift; we now have the chance to reshape the Democratic party into something real. We can create a party with backbone and vision, the party Paul Wellstone always imagined for us. And so, I am coming home to my party. I am not sure what I can do, but I promise to be passionate and work hard. Yes, 2004 was the most important election of our lifetime. Let's make it count.

More on this soon. I have some serious thinking to do.